late nights and early mornings

i think that late nights should rarely be combined with early mornings. but i'm making a mistake of that sort tonight. i'll be fine of course, but i'll probably make my life a little bit difficult tomorrow sometime.

what's on my mind tonight? what i'm going to be teaching in class tomorrow. i have ideas, but nothing so far sounds incredibly fun or entertaining. i'll think of something - i do that.

past that, i'm thinking about the next part of my life - i probably spend too much time thinking about that and not enough on life in the present. but i try to be forward thinking and reflective about my life. it's a good thing in many ways.

the main problem is i want to do a lot of things, and i like a lot of things. and i am unwilling to accept that i cannot do certain things or am not good at certain things. what this means in a less abstract sense is that i plan to do more graduate school (so a phd), and i like environmental stuff, but i could do rhetoric more, philosophy, environmental studies (interdisciplinary), or ecology (science). there are a lot of things that go into exploring these options and will end up going into making the final decision - what i like most, job security/preference, ability to teach, what i would do in my job and my spare time, what i would have more difficulty doing, etc. but the good thing is that i am interested in things and am excited about life and jobs and futures and everything. that's the most important thing right now i think.

who knows - i can't really think any more - too many things on my mind and not enough will to clear them up - that's the task for tomorrow i guess
be at peace in true light