these small degrees
i still haven't defended my thesis, though the time is getting close, and that's exciting actually. i start second semester in a couple days, and though i'm excited, i actually think that i would be quite productive, even from a graduate student type of perspective, were i to remain "on break" and in charge of my time and reading/writing choices. i've made it to that point, and i think that as a graduate student, that should be enough (i'm actually one of those people who'd reached that point as a junior in college when i started taking a lot of independent studies, and i wish i could be doing the same right now). i'd like to say to those involved in my graduate experience - hi, i don't need to take any more classes - just give me a little bit of time to talk with you so you can recommend ideas or paths to follow and so you can read my thoughts when i have them written down. i'm to that point. and i'm confused that everything now is supposed to aim at one project - that all my time and effort should be devoted to one pursuit until i have my phd. that just seems crazy, especially when in the last three weeks, i've written up ten different project ideas i'd like to pursue sometime in the near future (and these are all just academic dissertation type ideas).
right now, i'm probably feeling the best that my thesis is nearing some closure and that my advisor thinks it's good enough that i should pursue something like it for the dissertation (though i have a number of other ideas i'd also like to pursue). i enjoy learning about random things - today this meant bonobos, richard posner's thoughts on jurisprudence, the apparent lack of scandinavian nature writing, and the history of daylight savings time. i'm also really happy that i've learned how to make a few foods, most notably granola, based on a recipe given by a good friend. and i'm pleased with my bag that i use to carry food home from the grocery store (and yes, i walk). and i'm happy for another mild winter, though i may worry about us having seven mild winters in a row here. besides, i really wish that the black hills of south dakota were getting a lot of snow to give the area a big groundwater recharge. strange wishes...
this is a song by some friends, and i think it's quite good (look for it when they release it in a month or so). i was lucky enough to have a listening session, and i think the upcoming album should be good. there's something about the lyrics that i like, and i think it's the reference to bulimia/anorexia without condemning, proselytizing, or advocating a change. and this seems somewhat strange at first glance, because there's something quite wrong, and terribly dangerous about that kind of situation. the song i most associate with eating disorders is ana's song by silverchair, off the album that i listened to more than any other my senior year of high school. in that case, daniel johns was talking about his own experiences with anorexia (less associated with males, and interesting for that reason) - and the video was quite well done i thought. but i think the perspective given in this song is different, and is interesting, for the following reason.
when i coach soccer, one of the things i've learned is that there are certain times and situations where people need to know what they could do differently, perhaps better, in their actions. but there are also a number of times when they already know that they've done something wrong, and even what they should have done, without anyone telling them this. if someone kicks a ball over the goal when shooting on a fast break, or commits a stupid foul, most often that person doesn't need to be told this - it's known. instead, the player should be told not to worry about it for now, until something can be done about it (i usually tell players to forget about it during the game, and then spend 2-5 minutes thinking about it intensely afterwards, after which the memory is released).
i'm pretty sure this isn't the message of this song, but it's relevant - i'm certainly not an expert on something like this, but i am a real person who has dealt with a few friends experiencing eating disorders, and i never knew how to react, except to be supportive, not of the eating disorder, but of the person. and i think that this song, more than most, demonstrates that view. that someone can be loved and supported and helped, that lives can be shared, when things are imperfect. and i don't have to like what someone does in order to care for that person. i remember a conversation with my mom when i was in high school, where i said to her that just because some of my friends had started smoking, drinking, and smoking pot, i wasn't going to stop being friends with them. friendship and love seemed more important, and i think in a lot of ways, that holds true, even based on different worldviews, political stances, theologies, and choices about lifestyle. i want my friends and family to know what i think about those things, but i don't want any of it to get in the way of caring.
Beautiful Skeleton by The Glad Version
You're such a beautiful skeleton,
and I've got some meat to spare
so bring your bones in here.
And I'll take care of everything.
We'll look so wonderful intertwined.
I never thought I could love a ghost
until I saw right through you.
You're arms are pale and thin.
And you've got no reflection in the mirror on my wall.
Oh, it's better here since I opened my eyes.
It's been a year since I've written a thing.
I guess it took your fragile frame to wake me up.
Dry heaves and an empty plate.
Full drinks and a pulsing brain.
I guess we all have our faults.
But we are fine in our disease.
We are dying by these small degrees, and...
I just can't wait til we are perfect.
Heaven knows that we deserve it.
It wasn't broke but we still fix it.
No medicine can heal the spirit.
Oh, it's better here since I opened my eyes.
It's been a year since I've written a thing.
I guess it took your fragile frame to wake me up.
right now, i'm probably feeling the best that my thesis is nearing some closure and that my advisor thinks it's good enough that i should pursue something like it for the dissertation (though i have a number of other ideas i'd also like to pursue). i enjoy learning about random things - today this meant bonobos, richard posner's thoughts on jurisprudence, the apparent lack of scandinavian nature writing, and the history of daylight savings time. i'm also really happy that i've learned how to make a few foods, most notably granola, based on a recipe given by a good friend. and i'm pleased with my bag that i use to carry food home from the grocery store (and yes, i walk). and i'm happy for another mild winter, though i may worry about us having seven mild winters in a row here. besides, i really wish that the black hills of south dakota were getting a lot of snow to give the area a big groundwater recharge. strange wishes...
this is a song by some friends, and i think it's quite good (look for it when they release it in a month or so). i was lucky enough to have a listening session, and i think the upcoming album should be good. there's something about the lyrics that i like, and i think it's the reference to bulimia/anorexia without condemning, proselytizing, or advocating a change. and this seems somewhat strange at first glance, because there's something quite wrong, and terribly dangerous about that kind of situation. the song i most associate with eating disorders is ana's song by silverchair, off the album that i listened to more than any other my senior year of high school. in that case, daniel johns was talking about his own experiences with anorexia (less associated with males, and interesting for that reason) - and the video was quite well done i thought. but i think the perspective given in this song is different, and is interesting, for the following reason.
when i coach soccer, one of the things i've learned is that there are certain times and situations where people need to know what they could do differently, perhaps better, in their actions. but there are also a number of times when they already know that they've done something wrong, and even what they should have done, without anyone telling them this. if someone kicks a ball over the goal when shooting on a fast break, or commits a stupid foul, most often that person doesn't need to be told this - it's known. instead, the player should be told not to worry about it for now, until something can be done about it (i usually tell players to forget about it during the game, and then spend 2-5 minutes thinking about it intensely afterwards, after which the memory is released).
i'm pretty sure this isn't the message of this song, but it's relevant - i'm certainly not an expert on something like this, but i am a real person who has dealt with a few friends experiencing eating disorders, and i never knew how to react, except to be supportive, not of the eating disorder, but of the person. and i think that this song, more than most, demonstrates that view. that someone can be loved and supported and helped, that lives can be shared, when things are imperfect. and i don't have to like what someone does in order to care for that person. i remember a conversation with my mom when i was in high school, where i said to her that just because some of my friends had started smoking, drinking, and smoking pot, i wasn't going to stop being friends with them. friendship and love seemed more important, and i think in a lot of ways, that holds true, even based on different worldviews, political stances, theologies, and choices about lifestyle. i want my friends and family to know what i think about those things, but i don't want any of it to get in the way of caring.
Beautiful Skeleton by The Glad Version
You're such a beautiful skeleton,
and I've got some meat to spare
so bring your bones in here.
And I'll take care of everything.
We'll look so wonderful intertwined.
I never thought I could love a ghost
until I saw right through you.
You're arms are pale and thin.
And you've got no reflection in the mirror on my wall.
Oh, it's better here since I opened my eyes.
It's been a year since I've written a thing.
I guess it took your fragile frame to wake me up.
Dry heaves and an empty plate.
Full drinks and a pulsing brain.
I guess we all have our faults.
But we are fine in our disease.
We are dying by these small degrees, and...
I just can't wait til we are perfect.
Heaven knows that we deserve it.
It wasn't broke but we still fix it.
No medicine can heal the spirit.
Oh, it's better here since I opened my eyes.
It's been a year since I've written a thing.
I guess it took your fragile frame to wake me up.
posted by Brett Werner at
2:40 AM
2 Comments:
You know, I was just writing about the same problem of feeling done with classes a couple of months ago here. It's an odd sensation after being a student for so long, isn't it?
this is probably my favorite of all your posts for numerous reasons. it made me smile.
-SB
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