blame it on

Today started out relaxed - I tried to stay in bed resting for as long as possible - so I skipped listening to the lecture that I TA for. Then just to be sure that nothing was going wrong with me, I went and got checked out at the clinic before substitute teaching this evening. The test results for serious problems came back negative, and they're assuming that I just have a really bad cold. So I'm hoping that's it. And I can worry less I think.

I taught my first graduate seminar today - it was based on discussion, with very good students, so it wasn't too much work/worry. I am probably going to end up teaching it the rest of the semester (though I cannot be the instructor of record because I don't yet have my MA degree). This is because the professor had broken her hip (hence my substitution). And that's very sad. It sounds like she's optimistic, and I hope I get to talk to her sometime soon. But that's enough to hit me like a large heavy thing. So I guess when this sort of thing happens, all I can really think to so say is that it's terrible. I'm not one to blame things on anything - I really don't think about blame - I do try my best to think about responsibility - maybe it's the same idea, just without the negative connotations. Who knows. So I guess if someone (anyone) really needs to blame anything on anything, here's a song that might give some help.

This song was one of my favorite Radiohead songs when Radiohead was my easily chosen favorite band. Nice Dream, Exit Music, and Street Spirit were a few others (all of them are today also). I'm not quite sure what about the song makes it so powerful, but it is. And I think that's good enough.


Black Star by Radiohead

I get home from work and you're still standing in your dressing gown
Well what am I to do?
I know all the things around your head and what they do to you
What are we coming to?
What are we gonna do?

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home

The troubled words of a troubled mind I try to understand what is eating you
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I last slept with you
What are we coming to?
I just don't know anymore

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home

I get on the train and I just stand about now that I don't think of you
I keep falling over I keep passing out when I see a face like you
What am I coming to?
I'm gonna melt down

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home
This is killing me
This is killing me