not for all north carolina

i was trying to decide yesterday if i am a principled person. additionally, how much overlap is there between a principled and an ethical person? i'll explain using eating principles. i like to eat most kinds of food (no liver, green olives, or canned peas), and more particularly i like to eat food that is grown/prepared/etc in ways that i support (sustainable, caringly). this means i have some problems with some industrial agricultural practices, particularly feedlots and places where animals are mistreated, but also some environmentally unsound practices (that contribute to erosion, pollute ground and surface water, require transportation over long distances, etc).

so i have some general, yet concrete principles for how i eat. if i am going to have a discussion with someone else about eating habits, i definitely prefer endorsing a view that one should (a) like/enjoy fruits, vegetables, and grains; (b) try to see what it's like to not eat milk for a while; (c) if one eats meat, try to know that it came from a place where animals are treated well.

but when it comes to my own eating habits, i eat meat very little as a general rule - when i make food, i rarely include meat in it - and i really like boca chik'n. but if i am at home where my parents make meat for me all the time, i eat it. same with eating at my grandparents or visiting an acquaintance that eats meat. so does that mean i'm not principled - i'm certainly flexible with my guidelines for life - one of my meta-principles is flexibility in all that i do. but is that the antithesis of "principled"? can i claim to be principled at all? should i make some choices and stick to them, even if it's hard?

do i do that already, but just not with diet issues? maybe. but what if i don't? does that make me an unprincipled person? and both vegetarians/meat-eaters, both progressives/conservatives respect someone who has strong principles (hopefully well thought out). does a flexibly principled person deserve respect? that's the question of this post.


this song is just one more example of the brilliance of stephin merritt's lyric writing. i decided a few weeks ago (and my brother agreed with me) that colin meloy is one of the best story tellers in prose lyrics, and merritt is one of the best poet lyricists. i recommend reading his lyrics as he sings, but if not, you'll catch most of them, and you'll be amazed.


All my little words by the Magnetic Fields

You are a splendid butterfly
It is your wings that make you beautiful
and I could make you fly away
but I could never make you stay

You said you were in love with me
Both of us know that that's impossible
and I could make you rue the day
but I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
not if I could sing like a bird
not for all North Carolina
not for all my little words
not if I could write for you
the sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I do
not for all my little words

Now that you've made me want to die
you tell me that you're unboyfriendable
and I could make you pay and pay
but I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
not if I could sing like a bird
not for all North Carolina
not for all my little words
not if I could write for you
the sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I do
not for all my little words

all blue

some of my fondest memories of my youth involved going to my grandparents' farms. there were many interesting things to do there - build forts, hike, climb trees, explore buildings (climbing on top of them also). although just the memory almost makes me sneeze with the dust, i cherish the memories of jumping between hay bales - the joy of jumping between bales, testing my jumping abilities (or climbing back up when i missed), playing tag with my cousins, getting chased and thrown off the bales by my older brother(s). trying to be as good at jumping, running, balancing, and climbing bales.

that was what my farm days involved. my uncles probably did all these sorts of things before they had to start working on the farm - the nice thing about my experience is that i have few memories of work associated with the farms - it is all fun and the joys of growing up as farm kids - swimming in stock dams, exploring abandoned houses and tree rows, finding interesting objects in junk piles (usually forgotten parts from broken down machinery), canoeing to retired cars that act as islands in flooded ditches, tying ropes between walls in hay barns on which to climb and swing, taming wild kittens and trying to ensure that the mother doesn't hide them better next time. i can't imagine what i would have done to find these experiences had i spent my whole life in town. there was more freedom to make mistakes (without too dangerous of consequences). there was more room to figure things out and enjoy life with less structure than playing in a park or organized baseball league where the clock starts and stops practice. i find value in those experiences.

i spent many years playing music with the writer/performer of this song - he was one of my best friends for most of high school and college. we haven't talked much in the last couple years, but he's continued playing music by himself (taught himself how to play piano for one thing), and he's written some very good songs - just look for him on the internet if you want to download his songs, and i recommend them very highly. his voice is great, his lyrics are equally impressive, and his mastery of a variety of musical instruments has increased recently. besides his great uncle was the famous lawrence welk. i often joked (though i was quite serious) with him that i wanted to call our band "travis welk and the orchestra" as an obvious reference to his relative. the people that i played music with during my high school and college years have continued playing, and have done quite well for themselves (in terms of making good music) - maybe i'll post something from tor's band the glad version. or you can explore their music yourself.

eusia by travis welk

oh eusia where are you going
where have you been

i bet you've done some living
i bet you'll fit in somewhere

and dirty drinks and dusty roads
can't drown the voice of you
livin as we call it
dyin as we do

eusia, just close your eyes and think of me
you will see the skies above me
all blue
all that's missin is you

and dusty aurora
look down as we fly
show me the directions so we can make it right

and dirty drinks and dusty roads can't drown the voice of you
livin as we call it
dyin as we do

eusia just close your eyes and think of me
you will see the skies above me
all blue
all that's missin is you

it's not fair
nothin is
and i don't care about it any more

oh eusia where are you goin
where have you been

i could stay here

so at the request of a friend, i have made it so that anyone can leave comments on here (i guess before, an account was necessary). so maybe someone will start leaving me comments - i welcome that - i welcome emails too. i think that would be nice.

if i could watch again the young version of me, playing soccer, running, dribbling, juggling, joyfully and contently competitive - if i could see myself 15 years ago, i wonder what i'd think. that was my favorite activity (and i liked many things) - and i could have played it all day, every day then. i didn't have that freedom, and now i can't invest as much of myself in any activity (except maybe teaching or school in general). but playing frisbee, soccer, and music each give me that sort of joy and clearheaded experience of life. and sitting and listening in a forest clearing. or swimming. some of these are experiences that are almost pure for me, where my degree of comfort and self-investment are at their maximum. and i'm glad i know that. the other times when i feel like usually involve talking with 2-3 other people at the same time.

sometimes i think about politics, and this isn't a place for me to espouse my political views or even complain about politics. but i do want to explain an idea that i had for politicians after the last election (i had many thoughts, but i came up with this one soon after the last election and have stuck with it ever since). to put it simply, i wasn't happy with the result of the last election cycle. i wished some of the elections had went differently. and i decided that if i were in charge of a nationally powerful political party, i would pull all national funding out of the campaigns for national elections - in 2006, i would let anyone run for congress that wanted to run (using their own money), but i would focus all efforts on local elections - school boards and city/county councils. in 2008, i would put effort only into the local and state elections - i wouldn't put any monetary effort into the 2008 presidential and congressional elections. i would be focusing on developing a strong and widespread core of power in communities, that is responsive to local issues, but also guided by overarching principles. i would foreground local and state elections, for a full election cycle.

during that time, i don't think that my party would die on the national level - it would be four years of being in the minority in all likelihood, but only on the national level, and during that time, local leaders would emerge and make names in local and state elections, leaders that could move to a national level after connecting with a constituency. and most of all, i don't think this would be as dangerous as it might seem at first. i think that it is risky business, but i think that it might be good. it would certainly be an innovative (though when i say that, it seems blatantly counterintuitive that it could be innovative). and i think it might work.

and no, politics aren't the only thing on my mind. i'm currently curious about how to best start playing music again - what i need to start playing - as a setup - andrew bird was inspiring, and i can't decide whether to go simple or complex, whether to base the music around guitar or keyboards. i guess i don't really know. but i think i should probably use a boomerang pedal to play live samples. if you have perspectives on that, i'd find it helpful also.


this song is one of the best examples of beauty i've ever encountered. each time i hear it, i'm nearly overcome by the sound of her voice, by the lyrics, and by the simple piano backing. this is a song that i don't think could be covered or played in any way that changes it - this is the perfect version/arrangement of this particular song (kind of like lua by bright eyes). and that says a lot. i heard this song for the first time this last winter, and i would listen to it on repeat, especially while going to sleep. it seemed like the kind of song to end a day - i wouldn't recommend waking up to it, but that might give an interesting slant to one's day.

colors and the kids by cat power

must be the colors and the kids that keep me alive
'cause the music is boring me to death

must just be the colors and the kids that keep me alive
'cause I want to go right away to January night

I built a shack with an old friend
he was someone I could learn from
someone I could become

will you meet me down on a sandy beach
we can roll up our jeans
so the tide won't get us below the knees

yellow hair, you are a funny bear
yellow hair, such a funny bear

slender fingers would hold me
slender limbs would hold me

and you could say my name
like you knew my name

I could stay here, become someone different
I could stay here, become someone better

it's so hard to go in the city
'cause you want to say hello to everybody
it's so hard to go into the city
'cause you want to say 'hey I love you' to everybody

when we were teenagers, we wanted to be the sky
now all we want is go to red places
and try to stay outta hell

must be the colors and the kids that keep me alive
'cause the music is boring me to death

must be the colors and it must just be the kids
that keep me alive on this January night

yellow hair, you are a funny bear
yellow hair, such a funny bear

i fascinate myself

i usually go to concerts that i think will be good. it certainly makes sense to live that way. i like music a lot. i like recordings, and i like live music. so it shouldn't surprise me or anyone else that my younger brother (a music connoisseur) would know what kind of music i would like to see. he succeeded. we went to watch andrew bird at the cedar cultural center (good place for a concert - a little stuffy, but really good sound system).

andrew bird's live show is amazing. just five days after seeing an amazing sufjan stevens concert, i see a musician with more talent and wondrous abilities than i can imagine (violin, singing, guitar, whistling, live sampling). sufjan's albums might be better as recordings, but not even sufjan could compare with the pure amazement i felt watching tonight's music. i didn't go into a state of shock, but i was awed beyond measure.

past that, i reflected on yesterday's events (fun times here at the house), threw a frisbee with my housemate, and worked on school stuff (reading/writing). it was a great day. mostly because of the concert. if you have similar favorite music styles, do what you can to hear this music. with just andrew and one other person (perhaps him by himself if he wanted), he could do what sigur ros can do in terms of soundscaping, and he can do what telefon tel aviv or dntel can in terms of sequencing. his sense of rhythm and harmony/counterpoint is amazing.

i do apologize - i rarely go this overboard here about any musician, but it was quite overwhelming. i wish you the best, and if you are going to listen to some of his recordings, i recommend lull. it was one of the three best songs he played tonight - dark matter was another one, but i can't find a recording of that.

lull

being alone it can be quite romantic
like jacques cousteau underneath the atlantic
a fantastic voyage to parts unknown
going to depths where the sun’s never shone
and i fascinate myself when i’m alone

so i go a little overboard but hang on to the hull
while i’m airbrushing fantasy art on a life
that’s really kind of dull
oh, i’m in a lull

i’m all for moderation but sometimes it seems
moderation itself can be a kind of extreme
so i joined the congregation
i joined the softball team
i went in for my confirmation
where incense looks like steam
i start conjugating proverbs
where once there were nouns
this whole damn rhyme scheme’s starting to get me down

oh, i’m in a lull
i’m in a lull

being alone it can be quite romantic
like jacques cousteau underneath the atlantic
a fantastic voyage to parts unknown
going to depths where the sun’s never shone
and i fascinate myself when i’m alone

i’m rambling on rather self consciously
while i’m stirring these condiments into my tea
and i think i’m so lame
i bet i think this song is about me
don’t i don’t i don’t i ?

regina

it has been quite the week - last sunday i heard sufjan stevens in concert at first avenue, and it was quite amazing - i only wish he had played longer, but there was little for me to wish were different from that concert. and i had my first chocolate martini that night also - not bad at all. i had another week of class - i thought that my teaching went well (students seem to discuss the book and issues quite well - that's really important to me) - i enjoyed the classes i'm taking, especially ecocriticism with my advisor - he told us his story of how he wrote his dissertation and then turned it into a book. it really helped me think about how to write my thesis - there were strong storms around here last night, and that's always exciting. and fall. . . . fall is wonderful in every way, except that it heralds winter.

i'm not going to get too much into my thoughts or experiences here - i'll save that up just a little bit longer. but the two songs i want to share are by the same person, and the songs are gorgeous. and most of that revolves around the sound of regina spektor's voice. it's just plain amazing. her lyrics are good, and the music (especially the piano) are great, but the rest is eclipsed by the beauty of her voice. listen to her voice. love her music. tell me what you think.

samson by regina spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didnt mention us
The bible didnt mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , i loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But there just soft light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
He told me i was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh i cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that i'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light

you are my sweetest downfall
i loved you first



us by regina spektor

They made a statue of us
and put it on a mountaintop
Now tourists come and stare at us
Blow bubbles with their gum, take photgraphs of fun
have fun

they'll name a city after us
and later say it's all our fault
then they'll give us a talking to
then they'll give us a talking to
cause they've got years of experience

we're living in a den of thieves
rummaging for answers in the pages
we're living in a den of thieves
and it's contagious


we wear our scarves just like a noose
but not cause we want eternal sleep
and though our parts are slightly used
new ones are slave labor you can keep

we're living in a den of thieves
rummaging for answers in the pages
we're living in a den of thieves
and it's contagious

They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
The tourists come and stare and us
The sculptor's momma sends regards
They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
Our noses have begun to rust


we're living in a den of thieves
rummaging for answers in the pages
we're living in a den of thieves
and it's contagious

or if you haven't one

it's unlikely anyone has noticed that i've returned to writing on here (will tell people soon) - and i plan to write here with more ferocity and love than in the past (assuming i can also write my thesis and do everything else i want to do simultaneously). i look forward to this time - to share my thoughts and experiences, ways of interpreting music and other subcultural elements of life.

i don't take my goal here to be changing anything dramatically - affecting the world or united states politics. i take it to be helping me to reflect, think, and understand my own life and those around me. i have lots of ideas, always enjoy getting feedback on them, and there are more than enough people that i don't get to interact with in normal ways (face to face and often). so this is for those people and me. i confess that nothing will be spectacular or fantastic, but it'll be real - i hope that's good enough.

i'm back to teaching again this semester, only this time with a syllabus i designed myself and with a great class that makes my life easier by discussing the books with enthusiasm and energy.

this song is just plain amazing - lyrically, vocals, and especially musically. the instrumentation is fantastic (particularly the trumpet and organ parts). my brother and i were driving across the state of south dakota when i listened closely to the lyrics of this song for the first time (having listened to the music a number of times - my norm - always thought the music was great). my brother asked what it was that sufjan said after the bride comes lyric - i thought he was saying, there will be nice, there will be glad. it is in fact noise and not nice, but i think either one is still quite good - mark has identified that part of the lyrics as a special quote. it's a certainly a special song.

vito's ordination song by sufjan stevens

i always knew you
in your mothers arms
i have called your name
i've an idea
placed in your mind

to be a better man
i've made a crown for you
put it in your room

and when the bride groom comes
there will be noise
there will be glad
and a perfect bed

and when you write a poem
i know the words
i know the sounds
before you write it down

when you wear your clothes
i wear them too
i wear your shoes
and your jacket too

i always knew you
in your mothers arms
i have called you son
i've made amends
between father and son

or if you haven't one

rest in my arms
sleep in my bed
there's a design
to what i did and said

donnie darko

would you have guessed?



I am Donnie, from "Donnie Darko." I'm
pretty troubled, yes.