life as it comes

I like many parts of my life right now. Some things are more clear, more comfortable, and that's nice. I can't say exactly where I'm at, and there are certainly very strange things in my life. One strange example: I was in the emergency room on Tuesday evening, and I still haven't felt negative about that whole experience. It was quite strange. To put it simply, I have a hernia, and in order to determine that, it required me to describe the pain I was having and let others figure out what is wrong with me. It was quite an experience. I am going to have surgery sometime in the near future (because there is little to no chance of it healing on its own). And I'm resigned to that - perhaps the strangest thought that occurred to me is that I have been to see medical professionals more in the last month than I had in the preceding five years. I hope my body isn't falling apart, but I guess that if it is, I'm trying my best to keep it together while simultaneously enjoying what health I have.

This song is from my past. Although the Sixteen Stone album was more influential than Razorblade, this is one song that I still find value in outside of the sentimental value - the latter half of Razorblade has a lot of good music - this song is an example. Besides, Bush was my favorite band my freshman and sophomore years of high school, and I've seen them twice in concert - once with Veruca Salt on the Razorblade Suitcase tour in spring of 1997 (Ames, Iowa) and once in spring of 2000 with Moby (St. Cloud, Minnesota). I loved them the first time I saw them, and I was somewhat disappointed the second time. My life had changed, and that's fine. But I still appreciate what Bush did for me at a certain point in my life, much like the Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Sigur Ros, and Death Cab for Cutie.

Sometimes I get together with friends and reminisce about music - sometimes the music we played - tonight it was about Bush music - how we knew all their songs inside and out and could probably sit down after not listening to them for five years and play them straight through, pretty decently. We could certainly sing them decently well, with harmonies in some instances. And that's good - that's the sentimental value of this music, not to say that it's not good past that. We liked the band, we knew their music, and we were influenced by it - people even used to listen to our first CD and ask if it was a new Bush Cd (though that did offend the singer a little).

Furthermore, this song has traces of imagery surrounding fetuses - perhaps related to thoughts on abortion. It's not explicit or direct, or even clear what it means, and I think that's a good thing. Even more impressive in this area of music (being about social issues, but not clearly so) is Brick by Ben Folds (released around the same time). There's so much to be said for the rhetoric of suggestion and ambiguity - things that argumentative essays can't afford to do. And that's probably one reason I like it. I like it when analytic philosophers are clear with language, but I don't always like forcing students to just work toward clarity (though it is my job to do this when teaching 'writing to convince, inform, and persuade' - a course title of which I disapprove). At any rate, maybe listen to this song and think about it absent any connection to sociopolitical ideas, then listen to it and try to find meaning in that area - see which one you appreciate more - which one helps you live more.

I will say that I like just listening to music sometimes without even hearing the words, but I like doing both - kind of similar to how I like both music that is complex (where you can listen multiple times and hear something new/different each time) and music that is simple (where you see and hear the same things every time). I guess the same goes for movies - I am comforted and appreciative of The Princess Bride watching it the xxxth time (I've watched it very many times) - and I don't think that I've seen anything new in it - my life has changed so I get something new out of it, but mostly it is just a steadfast foundation to return to in my life whenever I need something like that.

Straight No Chaser by Bush

Always be there
Face I live with
Always be there
Face I live with

Abcess memory with broken fingers
All the fallen down angels
Raw pain distress

It’s all in the way we know that we could have it all
Some satellites of pain can’t always be ignored
War on all sides
War on all sides

Drink life as it comes
Straight no chaser
Drink life as it comes
Straight no chaser
Climb inside you
Away from strangers
Building a system of alleys and motorways

It’s all in the way we know we could have it all
Some satellites of pain can’t always be ignored
It’s all in the face of what we thought we knew before
War on all sides
War on all sides
War on all sides

Keep on driving
Hair left morning wet
There’s nothing like losing you
There’s nothing like losing you
There’s nothing like losing you