Sunday, September 17, 2006

I just don't get it

i suppose there are probably many blogs where people write even when they have little to say. perhaps it's presumptuous to say this, but i feel like i'm suffering the exact opposite right now. i wish i had time to write everything that i have been thinking and feeling lately. i can't. i don't.

today our house had a housewarming party, and it was nice. i saw a few people i hadn't seen in a while, saw a few others that i wish i could see more, or even that i could see all the time and would be happy. there were, of course, a lot of people i didn't get to see today, but maybe sometime. i'm trying to write as vaguely as i possibly can right now.

the semester has started. i teach three courses. i take three courses. i have been sick ten days of the last two weeks, including both of the last two weekends. in other words, my life has been incredibly busy. even with that, it's been incredibly good. i like that i'm living in a good house with three other very great people.

there are a gigantic number of remarkable experiences in the last six weeks of my life. i wish i could share them with you.

quite often the songs i post here are songs that i've listened to many times, that are touching my life strongly, either at the time or in the past. this song is perhaps one of the most powerful things in my life. i put the song on and have to listen to it multiple times. the song makes me feel melancholy perhaps, or some kind of ache, but mostly it just makes me feel real. i don't even know if it's the lyrics that make me feel how i do--it might just be johnny cash's voice singing like he does.

if you could read my mind by johnny cash (gordon lightfoot cover)

if you could read my mind, love
what a tale my thoughts could tell
just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishing well
in a castle dark or a fortress strong
with chains upon my feet
you know that ghost is me
and I will never be set free
as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see

if I could read your mind, love
what a tale your thoughts could tell
just like a paperback novel
the kind the drugstores sell
when you reached the part where the heartaches come
the hero would be me
but heroes often fail
and you won't read that book again
because the ending's just too hard to take

I'd walk away like a movie star
who gets burned in a three way script
enter number two
a movie queen to play the scene
of bringing all the good things out in me
but for now, love, let's be real
I never thought I could act this way
and I've got to say that I just don't get it
I don't know where we went wrong
but the feeling's gone
and I just can't get it back

if you could read my mind, love
what a tale my thoughts could tell
just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishing well
in a castle dark or a fortress strong
with chains upon my feet
but stories always end
and if you read between the lines
you'll know that I'm just tryin' to understand
the feelin's that you lack
I never thought I could feel this way
and I've got to say that I just don't get it
I don't know where we went wrong
but the feelin's gone
and I just can't get it back

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