up and never down
probably the most interesting little news bits are that i've decided to get an ipod finally - i think i'm going to get a blue ipod mini (though apple is clearly trying to get people to buy the new ipod photo). i look forward to that a lot - i also want to buy a polyphonic spree robe and wear that around rather than other clothes - i think it would be interesting if i started wearing that to my classes, especially when teaching. i can guess the reaction it would get - i've been getting similar reactions for the last ten years - why are you wearing that (expressing genuine interest in addition to a little concern and some dismissiveness)? and i'd say something along the lines of, because i want to, because i like to talk to people about this sort of thing, because i like to be somewhat eccentric/eclectic, because i'm predictably unpredictable, because i like choices in clothes, especially clothes that stand out rather than blend in.
while i can disappear quite easily (i'm just as good at doing this as my younger brother, even though he's probably more known for it currently), i often wear clothes that make it more difficult to disappear. so those are the two things on my list of things to buy sometime in the future - not that i have all that much money to spend on frivolous things like ipods and robes - and besides, i mostly spend all my disposable income (money that isn't for rent/food) on books - the next book i plan to buy is the consumer's guide to effective environmental choices. it is often cited in grist's consumer questions section ask umbra. and it seems like a good pragmatic thing to have.
when i was a senior in high school, most of my friends knew my favorite band, my favorite album, my favorite song were silverchair, neon ballroom, and miss you love. i think the album is truly amazing, especially considering the trajectory of the band from young nirvana rip-offs to musicians that had orchestration on the third and fourth albums (they actually paralleled my band in this evolving way, except they were famous - on mtv/snl - we were barely famous in our hometown). i saw them on tour that year also, and the show was quite good. the music video emotion sickness is amazing if you like artistic music videos (i certainly do). perhaps my strongest memories of this song revolve around the two girls that i was closest to at this time in my life - i dated one who was best friends with the other, and when we broke up, i became really close friends with both of them - they even made me a pink shirt for graduation with their picture on it and 'my girls' up above the picture - it was a pretty sweet gift, and i mean sweet in both senses of the word.
that spring, our high school choir took a train trip out to seattle - a large number of my good friends were all on this trip, and it was a blast - really long train rides both ways and a number of days on buses and in hotels in between. it was a good trip for me, and i've talked about taking that train ride out again, as long as i'm with a group of good friends - the only troubling thing is that it costs just as much to take the train as it does to fly, and it takes much longer. but if you can enjoy the travel time also, it would be quite worth it.
at any rate, it's hard for me to listen to this song and not think about certain friends and this trip to seattle. even though i was depressed at times during this year, the trip was amazing, and i really appreciate everything that my friends did for me. i really appreciate daniel johns' lyrics and the combination of instruments in the song. i read once that he wrote the song as kind of an anti-love song, and that's fine - i don't really care what he was thinking or meaning with it - i just know that this song embodied my senior year. in the end, i'm really glad that silverchair's following album diorama was much more uplifting and optimistic while keeping the same instrumentation choices (strings, etc.). i don't think that diorama ever had the same feeling and 'real' quality as neon ballroom, but that's fine also. i think that they realized that the 'realness' was sometimes a little too depressed - daniel johns had some depression problems, along with anorexia, and he later was afflicted with a rare form of arthritis that forced them to cancel most of the diorama album's touring. so they're a group with interesting stories, and i like them a lot - i would consider neon ballroom in my top albums of the 1990s without a doubt.
Miss You Love by Silverchair
Millionaire say
Got a big shot deal
And thrown it all away but
But I’m not too sure
How I’m supposed to feel
Or what I’m supposed to say
But I’m not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love
Make room for the prey
’cause I’m coming in
With what I wanna say but
It’s gonna hurt
And I love the pain
A breeding ground for hate but...
I’m not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people
Remember today
I’ve no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love
I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I’m supposed to love you back
It’s just a fad
Part of the teenage angst brigade and
I’m not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people
Remember today
I’ve no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love
Remember today
I’ve no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you
I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I’m supposed to love you back
the following is something that i wrote my senior year of high school - i include it here because it's something i wrote while being heavily influenced by silverchair, especially the song above. i think i wrote it one night after the debate banquet when i was feeling quite overcome with the impending change in my life, with leaving a group of close-knit friends, all of whom were/are amazing - at this time i was somewhat depressed - i was confused about life in general, and that's fine. i still am confused about life - i will say i'm not really depressed right now - even those times when i'm feeling melancholy or sad even, that's it - i guess it might just be a re-definition, but if so, that works just as well. at any rate, i wrote this in the context of the end of high school - i guess it could now be in the context of the end of most anything. and yes, ends aren't really ends. so here's the second thing i've posted on here that i've written - this one written even earlier than the previous - i still find some meaning in it, even if it's not perfect - i have it recorded with just me singing also as i could never really come up with music that fit it. suffice it to say, i was writing it in reference to a few specific best friends, but i think i was also writing it to myself. i never sang it at graduation, and i doubt anyone has ever heard/seen it except the one girl i mentioned up above - i think i wrote it down late one night, then walked over to her house and let her read it - pretty sure she never mentioned it again, and that's fine. and i thought of doing something with this in my graduation or senior breakfast thing, but i wasn't comfortable with that so it never happened.
one other thing to note is the similarity between what i was thinking even then with the passage from siddhartha i mentioned in the previous post. even then, siddhartha was permeating my life with a goal of loving everyone. and that makes me feel good - i haven't gotten there yet, and i doubt i ever will, but it's not a bad think to talk about, to concern myself with. so i guess if you don't want to meditate on the song by silverchair, this is another option, though it'll be much more difficult to get a hold of an audio copy of it - that would require a special request, but i guess it's possible.
come with me by brett
it's over and done
we must move on
with the songs we learned to sing
and now they'll only bring
us tears
there're no more jokes to tell
so i wish you well
and try to have fun
just try to love everyone
love everyone
come on and laugh with me
come on and cry with me
never ever let me be
please just come with me
each person has a part
of each and every open heart
there're so many friends here today
and all i can think to say
is i'll miss you
yeah, i'll miss you
it scares me when you frown
i want you thinking up and never down
we must forever try
it's our time to live, not the time to die
'cause we need you
yeah we need you
come on and laugh with me
come on and cry with me
never ever let me be
please just, please just come with me
while i can disappear quite easily (i'm just as good at doing this as my younger brother, even though he's probably more known for it currently), i often wear clothes that make it more difficult to disappear. so those are the two things on my list of things to buy sometime in the future - not that i have all that much money to spend on frivolous things like ipods and robes - and besides, i mostly spend all my disposable income (money that isn't for rent/food) on books - the next book i plan to buy is the consumer's guide to effective environmental choices. it is often cited in grist's consumer questions section ask umbra. and it seems like a good pragmatic thing to have.
when i was a senior in high school, most of my friends knew my favorite band, my favorite album, my favorite song were silverchair, neon ballroom, and miss you love. i think the album is truly amazing, especially considering the trajectory of the band from young nirvana rip-offs to musicians that had orchestration on the third and fourth albums (they actually paralleled my band in this evolving way, except they were famous - on mtv/snl - we were barely famous in our hometown). i saw them on tour that year also, and the show was quite good. the music video emotion sickness is amazing if you like artistic music videos (i certainly do). perhaps my strongest memories of this song revolve around the two girls that i was closest to at this time in my life - i dated one who was best friends with the other, and when we broke up, i became really close friends with both of them - they even made me a pink shirt for graduation with their picture on it and 'my girls' up above the picture - it was a pretty sweet gift, and i mean sweet in both senses of the word.
that spring, our high school choir took a train trip out to seattle - a large number of my good friends were all on this trip, and it was a blast - really long train rides both ways and a number of days on buses and in hotels in between. it was a good trip for me, and i've talked about taking that train ride out again, as long as i'm with a group of good friends - the only troubling thing is that it costs just as much to take the train as it does to fly, and it takes much longer. but if you can enjoy the travel time also, it would be quite worth it.
at any rate, it's hard for me to listen to this song and not think about certain friends and this trip to seattle. even though i was depressed at times during this year, the trip was amazing, and i really appreciate everything that my friends did for me. i really appreciate daniel johns' lyrics and the combination of instruments in the song. i read once that he wrote the song as kind of an anti-love song, and that's fine - i don't really care what he was thinking or meaning with it - i just know that this song embodied my senior year. in the end, i'm really glad that silverchair's following album diorama was much more uplifting and optimistic while keeping the same instrumentation choices (strings, etc.). i don't think that diorama ever had the same feeling and 'real' quality as neon ballroom, but that's fine also. i think that they realized that the 'realness' was sometimes a little too depressed - daniel johns had some depression problems, along with anorexia, and he later was afflicted with a rare form of arthritis that forced them to cancel most of the diorama album's touring. so they're a group with interesting stories, and i like them a lot - i would consider neon ballroom in my top albums of the 1990s without a doubt.
Miss You Love by Silverchair
Millionaire say
Got a big shot deal
And thrown it all away but
But I’m not too sure
How I’m supposed to feel
Or what I’m supposed to say
But I’m not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love
Make room for the prey
’cause I’m coming in
With what I wanna say but
It’s gonna hurt
And I love the pain
A breeding ground for hate but...
I’m not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people
Remember today
I’ve no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love
I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I’m supposed to love you back
It’s just a fad
Part of the teenage angst brigade and
I’m not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people
Remember today
I’ve no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love
Remember today
I’ve no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you
I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I’m supposed to love you back
the following is something that i wrote my senior year of high school - i include it here because it's something i wrote while being heavily influenced by silverchair, especially the song above. i think i wrote it one night after the debate banquet when i was feeling quite overcome with the impending change in my life, with leaving a group of close-knit friends, all of whom were/are amazing - at this time i was somewhat depressed - i was confused about life in general, and that's fine. i still am confused about life - i will say i'm not really depressed right now - even those times when i'm feeling melancholy or sad even, that's it - i guess it might just be a re-definition, but if so, that works just as well. at any rate, i wrote this in the context of the end of high school - i guess it could now be in the context of the end of most anything. and yes, ends aren't really ends. so here's the second thing i've posted on here that i've written - this one written even earlier than the previous - i still find some meaning in it, even if it's not perfect - i have it recorded with just me singing also as i could never really come up with music that fit it. suffice it to say, i was writing it in reference to a few specific best friends, but i think i was also writing it to myself. i never sang it at graduation, and i doubt anyone has ever heard/seen it except the one girl i mentioned up above - i think i wrote it down late one night, then walked over to her house and let her read it - pretty sure she never mentioned it again, and that's fine. and i thought of doing something with this in my graduation or senior breakfast thing, but i wasn't comfortable with that so it never happened.
one other thing to note is the similarity between what i was thinking even then with the passage from siddhartha i mentioned in the previous post. even then, siddhartha was permeating my life with a goal of loving everyone. and that makes me feel good - i haven't gotten there yet, and i doubt i ever will, but it's not a bad think to talk about, to concern myself with. so i guess if you don't want to meditate on the song by silverchair, this is another option, though it'll be much more difficult to get a hold of an audio copy of it - that would require a special request, but i guess it's possible.
come with me by brett
it's over and done
we must move on
with the songs we learned to sing
and now they'll only bring
us tears
there're no more jokes to tell
so i wish you well
and try to have fun
just try to love everyone
love everyone
come on and laugh with me
come on and cry with me
never ever let me be
please just come with me
each person has a part
of each and every open heart
there're so many friends here today
and all i can think to say
is i'll miss you
yeah, i'll miss you
it scares me when you frown
i want you thinking up and never down
we must forever try
it's our time to live, not the time to die
'cause we need you
yeah we need you
come on and laugh with me
come on and cry with me
never ever let me be
please just, please just come with me
posted by Brett Werner at
12:49 AM
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