i guess it's real enough

my body and mind are full right now. some things seem pretty simple. some things are complicated, but i can help make them simple enough. hmm, that makes me realize that i think it's important to realize that life is complex - it's important to be able to explain how things are complex. but when it comes to living and making choices, acting, doing - it's best to be able to make things simple enough that one can do/act/live. and yes, i admit i'm much worse at simplifying things and deciding things - doing things in general - than i am at making things complex, exploring options. and even right now, i'm questioning whether that's true in my life - do i have a terribly off perspective of myself? chances are i do.

but i have the good fortune to know this, and i try to cover for it sometimes. so i cherish moments of clarity. i cherish moments of simplicity, when the tightness is gone, when life envelopes me fully and any little things are little. life can do this - conversations can do this - actions can do this - sensations can do this - reading can do this - watching can do this - listening can do this.

playing music does this for me - piano, guitar, singing, whatever. playing soccer does this for me - my mind is totally absent any troubles. taking a warm shower does this - my mind wanders and is at its most creative (waking) moment. i wish i could say that sleeping does this for me, but i'm not sure it's always true. i can think of a lot of ways for me to have good days, but some of the best i can imagine involve being around people, sometimes doing things, sometimes not - hopefully in a place i like, too.

amélie: it's better to help people than garden gnomes.

this movie can do this for me. it is such a beautiful of saying this, especially in the context of the movie (which you're just not getting - go watch it!). it makes life simple - it makes life good - it understands something really important. i'm not sure if philosophers will ever find the, or even a, meaning of life. i expect not. but i think in a pragmatic context (based on what we should do rather than on some other strange abstraction), i have a few pretty decent ideas. help people. have good and meaningful relationships (whatever that means to you). try to do the other things you think are good, but start there. and the nice thing is doing those two together is quite easy (much harder than trying to do one without the other).

so in other words, i agree with amelie as she realizes important parts of life. and it probably isn't too different from rilo kiley's lyrics (from a few posts ago):

and maybe ours is the cause of all mankind
give love to make more, try to stay alive

and put slightly differently - as a critical question - by amelie's guide, raymond dufayel: you mean she would rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her?

i think that amelie and andrew largeman all realized (much like hermann hesse and antoine de saint-exupery) that relationships are where meaning and value are derived, and this is not to undercut doing good, acting rightly, and the experiences that help us understand life more fully and powerfully. but i do think that most good is from relationships, and we understand that good from experiences we have. i hope that i'm not being terribly repetitive with this idea - i'd stop if i didn't think it was important. and if nothing else, we can understand the immense sadness amelie experiences when she realizes that she is nobody's little weasel. and i'm not sure how, but that brings me to. . . .

easy

lucky

free

the news from saddle creek is that conor (bright eyes) will be going on another u.s. tour playing songs from digital ash, and the other members he's been playing with will open and play other music by themselves. that should be cool. more than cool - i can't wait.

this song is another that is almost beyond words. it already has meaning for me in a number of ways. i feel like making them explicit wouldn't be right in this context. maybe later. for now, it's best that everyone listens to this song and find your own meaning in it. read the words. listen to it. sing it. think of it when important things are happening in your life.

easy, lucky, free by bright eyes

did it all get real, i guess it's real enough
they got refrigerators full of blood
another century spent pointing guns
at anything that moves

sometimes i worry that i've lost the plot
my twitching muscles tease my flippant thoughts
i never really dreamed of heaven much
until we put him in the ground
but it's all i'm doing now
listening for patterns in the sound
of an endless static sea
but once the satellite's deceased
it blows like garbage through the streets
of the night sky to infinity

but don't you weep (don't you weep for them)
there is nothing as lucky
don't you weep
there is nothing as lucky, as easy, and free

don't be a criminal in this police state
you better shop and eat and procreate
you got vacation days then you might escape
to a condo on the coast

i set my watch to the atomic clock
i hear the crowd count down til the bomb gets dropped
i always figured that there'd be time enough
i never let it get me down
but i can't help it now
looking for faces in the clouds
i got some friends i barely see
but we're all planning to meet
we'll lay in bags as dead as leaves
all together for eternity

but don't you weep
there is no one as lucky
honey, don't you weep
there is nothing as lucky, as easy, or free